Step by Step Process

Below are the general steps for creating a Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document. (The steps may differ depending on the specific situation, people, or size of the group involved.)

1. Determine the person or people with whom you want to create your Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document. It could be a Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document with Yourself (the relationship that exists between you and the chatterbox in your head that can either spiral you down or inspire you), or a Document with others (any number of people can be involved).
   
   
2. Download a Sample Document and/or the Short Concept Paper off this website to read over and offer to those who are unfamiliar with the concept. You can also download these Step by Step Instructions as a PDF file.
   
   
3. Purchase one of the many Quick Start Guides to help you easily create your Document. There are specific Quick Start Guides for Business, Personal, Self and School relationship situations.
   
   NOTE: If the other person is not ready or willing to create their portion of the Document, it is still incredibly useful for you to write your portion to give to them. It will change the nature and evolution of the relationship because they have a greater understanding of who you are and how you operate. It is also a useful experience for you to better know yourself.
   
   You might be surprised, after they read through your half of the Document, they might find themselves interested in creating theirs. We encourage people to never make it mandatory to create a Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document, but we find that when members of a group create one, the people on the fringe eventually come to play because they see how positively it is impacting others and the business at hand.
   
   
4. Each person separately writes their portion of the 5 Components of the Document which can include words, drawings, video, audio, other tools, etc. Anything that helps describe who they are and/or helps them to remember how to get back to a state of peace, if needed.
   

   		1. Story of Us
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   		2. Interaction Styles and Warning Signs
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   		3. Expectations
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   		4. Questions to Return to Peace
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   		5. Short and Long-Term Agreements

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5. Each person's portion of the Document is typed and then merged into one Document. We typically use Google Documents, which is Google's free version of Word where files are password protected and held online. You get to decide who can see the Document and who can access it. This allows multiple people to work on the same Document without multiple versions of the file floating around on email. A Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document is a living, breathing, changing document, and holding it in one place over time encourages people to update it on a regular basis as new learnings occur or people change and grow. (Watch the video below to see a short demonstration of Google Docs.)
   
   
   
   
6. Each person reads the merged Document on their own, making notes regarding questions you might have or clarification you need.
   
   
7. Schedule a time to go over the Document together.
   
   
8. Now it's time for the most exciting part of creating a Blueprint of WE, the Clarifying Conversation. Everyone has the Document in front of them, whether on a computer or in printed form. This conversation can take place in person, by phone or online via Skype (Free online talk, instant messaging, video calls).
   
   
   • Together you walk through each section of the Document. As you move section by section through the Document, take this opportunity to be present with yourself and the others. Don't race through it. If these are people you want to be in relationship with, it's important to listen with an open mind and heart. Remember, sharing your Blueprint of Me with others is never a demand of what you want, or how you want to be treated. It is an opportunity to share who you are and how you show up in the world. It is an open dialogue that creates the space for trust and respect, which ultimately can never be demanded.
   
   • Make notes along the way as people ask questions and make comments. You will then add these new learnings or clarifications to your Document after the Clarification Conversation has taken place.
   
   • Depending on the number of people involved, each person may read their portion of the whole Document, alternating back and forth between people as you move section to section. If time is a factor we encourage each person, at the very least, to read their Story of Us out loud to the others. Hearing why others are drawn to you and the situation, from the person who wrote it, gives the story a whole new dimension. People hear things they never imagined, even from people who have known one another for great lengths of time.
   
   • As you proceed through the Document, take the time to ask clarifying questions. If this was the Owner's Manual for the person you're in this relationship with, is the information clear enough, or flushed out enough? If you had a rough time down the road, does this give you enough knowledge to get you out of a bad spot? To know what to do for the other person that they couldn't ask for in the moment?
   

    

   
   

   
   
   
   
   • It is also incredibly valuable, and enjoyable, to share the stories behind the thoughts. We are more naturally understanding and compassionate when we know the story behind why people think what they think, need what they need, and act how they act. So tell each other the "why" behind the "what." The stories are eye opening, and they can explain so much. It helps us to feel understood and heard. For instance, someone might share that he's easily triggered when people borrow his pens. You, on the other hand, think nothing of letting people borrow your pens. But when you ask the why behind the thought, you hear the story of how, as a child, he was blamed for something he didn't do because someone else used a pen that belonged to him. These past stories become reference files in our brain that we access when similar circumstances present themselves. A whole range of emotions can show up, even though the current situation doesn't seem to warrant them. (Be sure to read our Brain Science webpage for the fascinating description of how the Blueprint of WE impacts our brains, and thus how we show up in relationships.)
   
   

9. After you've gone through the Document together, go back to the electronic merged Document and make any additions or changes that came out of the Clarifying Conversation. Don't forget to do this, it's important!
   
   
   — REMEMBER —
   
   
10. The Blueprint of WE Collaboration Document is most useful if it changes and grows as the people in the relationship change and grow. That means that you must add to it when new learnings occur, or you find that the perfect question wasn't in the Questions to Return to Peace section when you had that last argument. By paying attention to the relationship, and noting it's subtle evolution, you ensure it will remain healthy and current; feeding each of you in ways that are most beneficial to who you are.
    
    Blueprint of WE Collaboration Documents truly are living, breathing documents that need to grow and change as you do.
    
    
11. Right after completing your Document, print out a few copies and place them around the office or house. It acts as a reminder to use the Document when needed, reminds you of the importance of the relationship, and encourages you to add things as they come to mind.
    
    It's also a good idea to schedule an annual or bi-annual date to go over the Document together and update it. Some people choose an anniversary date, performance review timing, or the New Year. You choose. Just make sure you, if this relationship is as important to you as you think, that you put some time into its health and wellness. You will be astonished at the rewards you will reap!